I Regret Not Telling You
by Fullmetal Ai
Summary: As Toboe lays dying, he reflects on things that happened in his life .. and catches himself thinking some last thoughts about a certain Grey Wolf. [ToboeTsume]


**Title:** I Regret Not Telling You

**Author: **Rika Akiana-chan

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** As Toboe lays dying, he reflects on things that happened in his life .. and catches himself thinking some last thoughts about a certain Grey Wolf.

**Warning:** Yaoi/Sho-ai, and some Language.

**Pairing(s):** Tsume/Toboe

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**I** yelped as I felt the small metal bullet tear through me. It all happened so fast - One second I had leapt into the air, the next, I was on the ground, surrounded by my own blood. I knew somthing had happened, but I couldn't quite register what it was just yet. Just then, another gunshot rang in my ears. My eyes opened, and my gaze shifted to the man who was lying a few feet away from me .. the man I had tried to protect. From the looks of it - And this was with what little sight I had left, for my vision was getting very blurred, all of a sudden - He wasn't going to make it, much to my dissapointment. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to force back the tears that threatened to suddenly flow out of my eyes.'_I'm Sorry, Blue ..'_ I thought to myself sadly. _'I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise ..'_ Slowly, I got up, and used almost all of my strength just staggering to the poor guy. Plopping myself down beside him hurt more than I thought, but I held back my yelp of pain. Noticing my own blood for the first time, I then realized what had happened.

I .. had been shot. I had been shot .. and I was dying.

My eyes shut tight once more, in a desperate attempt to keep from crying. It was no use, though. The tears came anyway. Now, more than ever, I wanted my pack to huddle around me. To keep me warm. They weren't here, though. I didn't know if they would even come, and to be honest .. my mind and my heart were having a battle, debating whether I wanted them to come or not. My heart wanted to see them one last time .. I wanted to see them one last time before I ceased to exist. But my mind protested .. my mind was saying '_You don't want them to see you like this .. it would be better if they didn't come.'_

My mind won that battle.

But even though my mind had won that debate, it had allowed my heart to think of one person .. Tsume.

Out of all the pack members, I like to think I was the closest to Tsume. I looked up to Tsume. He was the older male in my life that I desperately needed .. that I wouldn't have ever gotten if Granny were still alive, and I had stayed with her.

I tried so hard to melt the ice around his heart. I don't know if I succeeded. I know that I had always hoped that I had at least _some_ impact on his life, but I never knew if he had actually become softer with his emotions.

I was betting probably not.

Over time, I realized that I cared a lot for Tsume. I had feelings for him, very strong feelings. I .. had fallen in love with him.

Heh, way to go, Toboe. Your first love, and he thinks you're the most annoying little runt he had ever gotten the displeasure of meeting.

Or did he?

I often contemplated .. no, debated, on telling Tsume how I felt. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

_'He could reject you. That's what.'_ Ugh .. I hated when that little voice in the back of my head stated the obvious. What was worse .. it was usually right, too.

All my life I had always feared rejection. When I first met the pack, I feared I would be rejected, hands down, because I was so young. I had always feared I would be rejected by the humans I lived with. And I had feared that I would be rejected by the one that I love. The one that I would risk my life for. The one I want to be here with me now ..

Tsume.

You don't know how much I care .. and I want to tell you now, Tsume ..

I love you ..

I do, Tsume .. I love you so much, and nothing can ever change that.

Even if you reject me, nothing can ever change this feeling I have for you.

I wanted to be with you ..

I wanted to go to Paradise with you, honestly, I did ..

I never thought this would happen, Tsume ..

And I'm scared.

That's right, I'm scared. I'm not afraid to admit it.

I don't like the cold feeling of death that's washing over me ..

All this time my breaths have been getting shorter. I figured it would end soon .. I just didn't know how soon. I took one last breath.

I regret not telling you, Tsume ..

I'll see you in paradise ..

... I love you .. and goodbye.

-----

Toboe let out his last breath .. the one that would end his life. Not long after, Tsume came running torwards the scene. He froze when he saw the two bodies .. recognizing one as Toboe's almost immediately. Tsume had the urge to kneel down beside the dead pup and cradle him in his arms .. however, he only got to the kneeling down part. A large hand reached out torwards the puppy and rested on Toboe's head, which was deathly cold. It was true; Toboe had passed on. Unshed tears stung behind his eyes .. this was rare for him. He almost _never_ cried. But Toboe .. Toboe had brought out another side of him .. one that Tsume thought he had lost. This innocent puppy stirred up his emotions unlike any other. He had tried to deny it before, but now he let the feeling resurface ..

... He had loved Toboe ...

_'DAMMIT, TOBOE!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AFTER THE OLD MAN?? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?!?'_

"If only .. I had realized before .. heh .. Toboe .. " Tsume thought a little more, before taking the dead puppy into his arms and cradling him, just as he had the urge to do before.

"You did good, Toboe .. You deserve a rest .." He said to Toboe, as if he were still alive. Tsume didn't care at the moment if he sounded stupid. Kiba wasn't even around to hear it - he was all alone with the two dead bodies. He thought it wouldn't hurt to tell Toboe how he really felt ..

"Toboe .." Wow, things just kept getting more and more unusual. He felt tears slide down his cheeks just then. The tough guy image had melted away for the moment.

"Toboe, I love you .. I'm sorry I couldn't say that to you when you were alive .. " Tsume hugged his dead love closer to him. He then realized it was getting dark. He placed Toboe's body next to the old man's, and stood. He started walking, and when he was far enough away, he looked back one last time. He gave a small, sad smile.

"Someday I'll see you in Paradise, Toboe .. but until then .. Take good care of him, old man."

-:-Fin-:-

**Author's Note:** Hiya, peoples! That was my first Wolf's Rain _and_ Yaoi/Sho-ai fanfiction! hurrah! I absolutely love the Tsume/Toboe pairing. Toboe is such a little cutie and he deserves to be loved .. he also deserves to be protected. o.o It seems that Tsume is just the right guy! I also like this pairing because in the series, even though Tsume dosen't want to admit it, the two seem pretty close. But that's just my opinion. Sooo .. yeah. Hope you liked! It would be really nice if you pressed the little button at the bottom that says "Submit Review," and leave a review for me! Ja ne! -- Rika


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